R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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