guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
