she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You need Xanax blowdarts
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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