the day after is always just damage control
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
