I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
