After last night, I could never be a politician.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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