It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
