I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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