Little spoons don't ask big questions
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
