kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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