you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
