People with herpes should wear stickers.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
