:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
