Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize