47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
