you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize