God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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