Already got asked if we're dating
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
