how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize