I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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