I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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