why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
