You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
