Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
