this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
