Pappa wants mamma naked
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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