im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
