I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
