you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
