I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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