were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You took a bar mat shot.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
