So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
