i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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