it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
