New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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