I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
