i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
