The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
handjob tips. give me some.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
