Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
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Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked