so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.