did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.