Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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(906): View more from Michigan

too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious

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(248): View more from Michigan

My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.

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