Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.

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  (716): i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy. http://tfl.nu/q9at
  Replies (76) Good night (3650) Bad night (2066)
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  (626): View more from California

  i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.

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  (626): i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner. http://tfl.nu/vo3h
  Replies (32) Good night (3670) Bad night (1032)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.

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  (806): Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one. http://tfl.nu/nt34
  Replies (4) Good night (3191) Bad night (1054)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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  (201): You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked. http://tfl.nu/py4z
  Replies (7) Good night (4028) Bad night (1185)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2421) Bad night (1279)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?

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  (613): what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world? http://tfl.nu/dgrx
  Replies (9) Good night (2251) Bad night (1138)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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  (910): It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did http://tfl.nu/v7hu
  Replies (11) Good night (947) Bad night (1578)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.

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  (941): My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth. http://tfl.nu/e5tu
  Replies (11) Good night (1013) Bad night (839)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.

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  (785): You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark. http://tfl.nu/p2c2
  Replies (18) Good night (1477) Bad night (738)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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  (970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (453)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (441)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory

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  (401): After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory http://tfl.nu/d8ep
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (751)
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  (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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  (442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8
  Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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  (847): Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way. http://tfl.nu/5snx
  Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

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  (702): you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment http://tfl.nu/hzml
  Replies (1) Good night (1033) Bad night (325)

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