Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.