Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.