Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
