So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.