What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
