angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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