Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
