hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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