I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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