I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
