i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
