about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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