you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
