the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
