P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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