You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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