put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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