who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize