my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize