oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!