I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary