And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.