we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
