THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that