I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?