omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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