these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
