I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
