Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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