Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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