Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
